BALLS OF STEEL:
An interview with Future World Emperor
Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel
Life is short, and far too much of it is spent being miserable. This is a tragic fact, but this truth has been hard-wired into the human psyche for generations upon generations: that we can never truly be happy. We dwell on our own mortality, strive for stability, and want what our neighbors have. In order to fill the void, many turn to alcohol, medication (prescription and otherwise), or to gods. Some of us may just as soon wallow in misery rather than do something about it. In the tired old age of today, unhappiness has become an excuse, a crutch, and a staple of everyday life. Our formal education forced us to cast off our “childish” dreams of grandeur and thrust us headlong into the real world; where we must sacrifice ideals and embrace the social norms of becoming an adult. If you don't conform, you're ultimately labeled with some sort of mental illness.
Dr. Steel constitutes a threat to this dehumanizing process, much like a wrench shoved into the spokes of a passing bicycle. Not only is he trying to turn this modern day travesty completely upside down, he has taken upon himself the ultimate dream of grandeur: taking over the world.
The mad scientist musician, media persona, and big buckled- bootstrap marketer, propagates, envisions, and strives for a Utopian Playland based on entertainment, self -actualization, and of course, robots. The basis of such a revolution exists in toys. In the New Dr. Steel™ World Dictionary, the definition is simply put: toy n. an object that makes you happy
Although he prides himself on his insanity, it isn't some sort of tin foil-hat- wearing-new-agey polyrazzmatazz. The man has a point, not to mention a goal to make the world a better place. With the help of his Toy Scouts, nursemaid henchmen, and an ever-burgeoning Army of Toy Soldiers, some are already touting him as such. Let's face it, establishing a new world order really takes a pair.
JH: I must state that you have an impeccable sense of style. How important is your image while obtaining your ultimate goal?
DS: Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad to hear that you enjoy my particular sense of aesthetics. Though many of us were taught not to judge a book by its cover, our natural instincts tend to do just that. Our visual perception is designed to inform us of safety or danger in a very quick way through visual stimuli. To this end, as the advertising world certainly knows, image is very important. Unfortunately, many of today's modern productions take this a bit too far by placing image before content. The result is a wide array of recycled garbage presented to us through shiny packaging. For me, it is important not only to provide quality content but also to maintain a unique sense of overall style throughout everything that I do. I myself am a canvas and I present myself accordingly. We inevitably judge books by their covers, so I aim to present the most interesting cover that I can. I trust that others who find my style interesting will also enjoy the many other aspects of my world since they come from the same mind.
Sincerely;
~Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel
JH: After all, my good Doctor, isn't marketing and mass media, for that matter, a multi-trillion dollar industry these days? Does this mean you've chosen to become the beast, infiltrate, and tear it down from the inside to reach your goal?
DS: Absolutely. One must utilize the system to the best of their ability...and then destroy it with giant robots.
JH: How are your robots faring these days, Doctor?
DS: Ah, well there are many a technical issue with the current model. Likewise, my time has been monopolized by a variety of other more pressing issues at the moment. My passion for building the robots is great, though my resources are forever dwindling. I look forward to the day when I might be able to put together a team of robotic engineers to execute my specific designs. In the meantime, I shall continue to tinker as my schedule allows and wear protective clothing.
JH: I hope that more music is among those pressing issues. I must say your audio experimentation is hauntingly familiar to an old version of "The Teddy Bear's Picnic" that still gives me nightmares to this day.
DS: Ah, grand. I'm delighted to know that my audio experimentation conjures up such childhood memories. I have drawn much inspiration from the entertainment I recall from my youth. I find inspiration in creating contrast and I greatly enjoy playing sounds against one another. To take a project in a direction that one might not expect is my underlying modus operandi. I encourage such inspiration on a daily basis and I do indeed have many musical creations lurching about my hard drive at the moment. I look forward to unleashing them on the masses in the not too distant future.
JH: Well, it must have been quite an interesting youth to derive such a result, Doctor.
DS: I suppose it was, though I spent a great deal of time alone as a child. I found it awkward to interact with other children and spent most of my time exploring my creative interests in the privacy of my own mind. I attended a strict, private school and it may have been in this environment that I felt the desire for such isolated creativity. In an environment where one is expected to conform, often a desire to escape is great. My escape was through my imagination.
JH: Outside one's own imagination, life can be exceedingly drab, mindless, and rather annoying at times. Which brings me to my next question, about your Utopian Playland: is it progressing well?
DS: It is developing and growing larger each and every day. Though I have some very specific plans for the physical incarnation of the world of tomorrow, a Utopian Playland begins from within. It is a state of mind and a way of looking at one's reality. To envision a Utopian Playland is to recognize and actively pursue your sincere passions and talent with the confidence in knowing that you are capable of great things. To this end, as The Army of Toy Soldiers grows and more people embrace this creative empowerment, the collective consciousness of the world is shifting. This is the single most important stage of building a Utopian Playland and it is very exciting to witness.
JH: Eloquently stated, Doctor. Now, what can the gentle reader of this publication do to become a member of Toy Soldier Army?
DS: Ah, it is easy. Simply visit my website, www.doctorsteel.com and click the "enlist today" button. Do feel free to peruse the rest of this digital labyrinth as well. There are a great many tidbits of brainwashing fun to be enjoyed throughout.
JH: Now in conclusion: creamy or crunchy?
DS: I would have to choose crunchy with a creamy center...and with a hint of purple.
